Trusting yourself is the most important thing to do during the process of building your confidence and achieving independence from the world. I’ve been thinking about one of my projects last night, trying to come up with good ideas — and then came the moment of realization: I do not trust myself any more. No matter what I do, no matter what ideas I have thought about, there is always a barrier standing between me and bringing those ideas to life. It’s hesitation because I think: I do not know how to create the design, even if I read about it, somebody else will do it more professionally. I do not know how to write the copy, somebody else will do it better. Well, yes — there will always be somebody who might have greater experience, and maybe better ideas — but this does not mean that you need to stay at the exactly same place where you are standing, behind the barrier of hesitation.
When did I stop trusting myself?
I don’t know, really. Back at school, I trusted my intuition — I believed in myself, in my ideas, in my reality and did what I could to create the world that I wanted. Looking back and being completely honest, I was not the best Editor-in-chief or the best Board member, but I had inspiration, I had faith, I had goals to achieve and I had a motivation to go forward. Then, I started doubting — maybe I do it wrong, maybe it is not how it’s done. So many ‘maybes’, and so little faith.
I used to believe in my poetry, for example. And now — sometimes I doubt. There are those people saying that before I publish a poetry book, I need to be absolutely sure about the quality of my poems. And at this exact moment my doubts arise. Is it good? Is not? Is it worth the effort to get my poetry published?
Of course, it is. There are rules to be followed — but sometimes, you just need to trust yourself. If there are people who can feel what you’ve written, if there are emotions that are awaken because somebody has read that poem, it’s worth it. You are worth it.
Trusting yourself does not mean being resistant to changes.
Our life is a constant learning and improvement. We want to get better, but we can’t be the best at everything because each knowledge gained comes at the price of other knowledge lost. Stop hiding behind your fears, stop feeding them with hesitation and doubts.
The first time, you might not succeed. Your design might not be as good as done by a professional. Somebody else might choose more influential words and get better results. You will learn — and experience is how we learn best. And making mistakes or being less than the ‘excellent’ — this is how we gain experience. Next time, you will be one idea closer. So will be the next. And the next. And the next. As long as you trust yourself.
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