Emotions are a vital part of being a human. They inevitable affect our well-being – both in a positive and a negative way. It can be a good laugh with friends that will re-charge you and boost your productivity, or an unexpected disappointment that will bring you down and might tie your hands and limit your capacities.
I’m emotional. I’m really, really emotional. There is a saying that sensitive people suffer more but they love more and dream more. It might be true – to a certain extent. I consider my emotionality as a gift and a curse, at the same time. I enjoy the little things in life – the smiles, the sunsets, the kind actions that some people just do not notice. A friend of mine once told me that when he looked at me, he saw a child that was still surprised by the world and its everyday wonders. Sensitivity has brought me a lot of unnecessary pain, too – and when I put more thought rather than emotion into the given triggering situation, it becomes crystally clear that overreacting does not help. It never does.
A long time ago, I realized the necessity of learning how to control my emotions. Looking back, I can see a slight improvement – sometimes I do manage to do so, or at least it takes me less time to understand that there’s no point sitting down, being emotional about something that I cannot change and basically, being inactive and self-destructive.
I get frustrated very easily. I get disappointed when my expectations are not met by the reality. I get miserable when my desires are unattainable. And the worst is, I lose my willingness to fight with those emotions and simply let them win.
Take a deep breath. That’s what my friend always told me – close your eyes and let it go.
It helps, actually. These few seconds of mind-emptiness serve as a calming transition from emotions to thought, from irrationality to rationality. When I open my eyes, I can see the situation as it is, not as I wish it was. I get back to the reality and start thinking about what can be changed, what can modified, what can be done. There is always something that can be done – and just as small as it might be, it surely is much more worthy that going round the bend again and again, getting even more upset and angry — because the past cannot be changed. Only the future can.
Get distracted. Just shift your attentional focus.
I used to keep myself concentrated to the situation or the person that gave me those bad vibes — all the time. It is as masochistic as it sounds. I did not even make an effort to build a wall between me and these depressive or baffling thoughts. On the opposite — I was actually so inviting. Please, take a seat — let’s talk about it again and again, and again. So pointless. So wasteful. So childish.
I recently started a new series in which the main heroine is a strong woman who knows how to handle her emotions. In a couple of episodes, she had those mental breakdowns — but never let herself stay down, or be kept away from her goals. In the morning, she would get up, get dressed and nobody could notice any sign for weakness.
I respect that. Focusing on what is important and what will matter more. Emotions exist now and in the next — they are gone. Get your mind busy with a difficult task. Read a book that will motivate you. Leave the comfy bed and go outside, stay around people, do whatever, just get your shit together.
Back to the unlastingness of the emotions, while scrolling down my Instagram profile, I found a rule that totally grabbed my attention: “If it’s not gonna matter in 5 years, do not spend more than 5 minutes upset by it.”. It’s important to recognize the meaning of the situation and its significance for your future. Will it matter that your weekend plans failed? Sure as hell, no.
When you are confronted by your emotions, take a minute and think about it. Use rationality and ask yourself if being sad or frustrated is worth those lost minutes. Re-focus and do not jump into conclusions — because so many times having an emotional approach to the situation has caused me great issues and completely delusional interpretations. Think, don’t feel. Consider your perspective. Choose your principles and rely on your logic. It makes a difference, doesn’t it?
Honestly, I love my emotionality. Most of the time.
It’s a gift that gives me the chance to notice and appreciate the tiny beauty of our magnificent world. I just need to learn how to control it — because letting it control me and my actions does not always end well. When you can change the situation, do it. When you can’t — accept it and move one. Never allow to be anchored into the painful past by your emotions. Life is about moving forward, and you cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the previous.
If you were to ask me whether I would prefer to be more cold-hearted and feel less, the answer is: No. Sometimes, I wish that I do not overreact that much — but most of time, I’m happy — because of the beautiful pink colors of the sunset, because of the time spent with my friends, because of being here and now…
…No, undoubtedly, I wouldn’t. One time of happiness is worth the moments of pain.
PS. Feel welcomed to share your thoughts in the comment box!