It just occurred me that the past three weeks I have been wasting my time and my emotions on imaginable situations that might or might not happen, and on which I have no influence or control. I have devoted my thoughts on the ‘if-this-would-happen’s, and it is simply not worth it. It is good to have an idea of how to react in a certain moment instead of being unprepared but I failed to make the difference between being prepared and over-over-overthinking.
So, in this publication, I will answer the question: why living a life of ‘ifs’ is simply not worth it? And hopefully, I will be able to follow my advice.
It exists only in your imagination
First and foremost, this life is not real. It is not your reality. You are unlikely to be able to turn it into one, and even if you could, it would be forced — and nothing forced is ever real. I do not want to force a relationship because I have enjoyed my time with the given person, or because I am scared of being alone. I do not want to force a friendship because I feel bored. Whatever is meant to be, will be — this is my motto and what I am trying hard to live by. It is not easy because we want so much and sometimes life gives us so little of what we want, but on the other hand, I choose to believe that it gives us enough of what we need.
You ruin the reality by overthinking
People give away vibes and it is my belief that our vibes are what attracts us to each other. Any change in our perception or in our mood is directly reflected on the energy which we send to the others. Therefore, once you start overthinking a situation and asking yourself ‘if’ questions, your vibe changes and causes a sequence of transformations — where your denial would start. The more things change, the more you overthink, the more your energy is harmed. Your conversations get unnatural and shorter, your connections begins to disappear. Sometimes it is better to go with the flow instead of building your ‘if’ scenarios and trying to force a reaction in the others. Because people are unlikely to react the way you want them to, because sometimes factors exist that you do not take into consideration, and sometimes, people are just unpredictable.
You lose moments of your life
The worst about living a life of ‘ifs’ is not living a life of ‘nows’. We only have this moment — it is all that will ever be granted to us. Our past is gone, and people change — your communication might get less intense, the way you feel about each other might not be the same. You cannot do anything to bring it back to the way it used to be, you cannot force someone into becoming an old ‘version’ of themselves, you cannot go back to the past — and you must accept it. You must live in the moment, grasp it, feel it. Not the moment after it — not the ‘if this happen’ moment because it might never happen. This moment, right now. As imperfect as it seems to you, believe me, it is perfect because it is real.
PS. Tell me your Unique story in the comment box!